Extracurricular Activities – how to find the balance for children
Baseball tryouts, soccer practice, martial art classes, dance lessons, gymnastics, academic tutoring classes…these might sound like the extracurricular activities planned for a typical child. In general, extracurricular activities help build character traits and “soft skills” that children could learn beyond the classroom. These include healthy social development such as team work, social skills, self-confidence, conflict resolution. Not to mention the physical benefits of extracurricular activities in healthy active living. It is important to many parents that their children are given opportunities to grow up well-rounded.
On the other hand, many parents argue that children should be allowed to “be a kid”. Rather than filling up their weeknights and weekends on the calendar, some parents think it is equally important for children to enjoy their time in free play and family time. In this article, let’s explore:
What are signs of being too busy with extracurricular activities?
What are some long term impacts on a busy child?
How can parents help their children find the balance?
Signs of too many extracurricular activities:
Whether you have already planned your child’s extracurricular activities or just beginning to do so for the upcoming school year, try to look out for these signs:
Your child is not having enough sleep
Your child’s meals are always on-the-go or a quick grab-and-go
Your child is always catching up with school work
Your child shows high resistance when having to go to an activity
Your child is losing motivation towards an activity
There is limited family time, down time, or free-play time during a typical week
Long term impacts on a busy child
There are tons and tons of benefits that could be listed when it comes to allowing kids to enjoy and learn from extracurricular activities. Cooperating with others, making a commitment, being physically active…just to name a few.
But there is a “dark side” to being a busy child and having your calendar filled back-to-back. One parent expressed that when her child was finally given time for free-play, which was something rare in their schedule, her child expressed a “cluelessness” – not knowing what he would do with himself and not knowing what free time means. She said that it might have to do with the fact that her child is constantly following instructions, from school to extracurricular activities. When instructions are not given, he didn’t know what “free play” meant.
This is also something I learned from some post-secondary students recently. Apparently, having the day framed by parent-planned extracurricular tends to create a kind of mindset that your life is governed by these activities. When the day that this is no longer the case enters your life, these students experienced a sense of “cluelessness” towards free time as well. They noticed that it took them some time to become familiar with schedule-planning and having time-management skills.
Finding the Balance
Opt for academic tutoring only when it is necessary. If your child is experiencing difficulty in school, tutoring could be very helpful. But not every tutoring model is the same. Just keep in mind that one hour of one-on-one tutoring per week could be more helpful than 3 hours of group tutoring classes that your child would have to sit through every weekend. Remember quality over quantity and choose what works best for your child.
“Chronic academic tutoring” is beneficial if your child likes to be challenged beyond what they are learning at school. But, if your reason is “every kid in the neighborhood is doing it” or “I want my child to be competitive by learning material 3 grades ahead”, then perhaps it needs to be crossed off the list.
Make sure at least one of the activities involve or encourage physical activity. It is also equally important to choose a physical activity that your child enjoys, which might take some time to discover.
Find activities that could integrate multiple interests your child has. For example, dance lessons could allow kids to express their artistic side and it could double as a physical activity.
Written by Mandy Lam
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